My friend, the Spider.

I am just kidding I don't have a friend who is a spider nor am I even faintly acquainted with spiderman. Although I really long for a comrade who can spit web out through his veins, I've not even watched Amazing Spiderman, too mainstream I think. So I was just lying down on the lazy boy when I see it. A hairy brown small fairly plump thing stealthily descending from my roof. No, it's not Cee Lo Green being a ninja. It was a Lycosidae. Commonly known as the wolf spider, it's known for creeping the hell out of arachnophobics, such as myself. I jump on to the La-Z-Boy, my brain tells me that it's surely gonna come for me. As I trip, fall, run even faster around the house in hysterics with my hands waving madly just waiting for someone to kill it, and watch it retract those 8 hairy limbs in a final shrivel. That's when my uncle told me,I've been  living in this house for the past 32 years I have never seen anyone bitten by a spider. I thought about it, and he was right! But that doesn't mean no one has not been bitten, if you get what I mean. So why take the risk? 

That's when I was looking through this fun science fact website thingy when I saw the cutest spiders. Yeah, I just said that, cute spiders. Hey, they might be hairy, but they're still extremely cute. That's when I thought about it, the spider world would be such a peaceful place to abide in if they could speak. I mean, all misunderstandings shall be solved. Meanie spiders just can be squashed under newspapers, the nice ones can be allowed to live in peace. If the spider I saw could talk, there could be ways in which my encounter could've ended.

Case I:

Spidey: Hey, ssup?

Me: *on the laptop* Meh, just blogging, you?

Spidey: Naw, I'm just hanging 'bout. Hey, d'you mind if I could like eat that wasp that's contemplating mass destruction?

Me: Uh, sure dude. 

Spidey: Thanks man. 

Me: Anytime! *continues with work*

Thus, we both live happy lives.

Case II:

Spidey: BOOOOO. I eat you.

Me: *looks, stares, screams*

Spidey: I destroy your life.

Me: *uncle enters* *SPLAT*

Thus, I (well, not really me) saved the spider world from an evil man, now they shall worship me by spinning a 3D model in silk. :)

Case III:

Spidey: brgrgbrgrbrgrbrgrbgbrtgbrgbrrgbggg

Me: SSAPPENING? 

Spidey: brrrgeujwhf,ewngb,

Me: K.

Thus, we shall be all screwed if they don't speak what we speak.

P.S: I have proved my point. Cute spiders, they're cute. See for yourself!

Tweehee.